This has been on my mind for months. I felt like it was time to drop @realishtee for some it’s just a name. A few years ago it was the one way I found I was able to speak be who I was.
Years ago I went through some things and every time I would talk about how I was feeling I would get “verbally attacked”. They would call and twist my words, their friends would message me unleashing on me. I moved cities. Tried starting new. I went private and still it didn’t help. I blocked people I like just because I had no idea who was passing on info about me. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to talk.
During this time my whole world was crashing. My life felt like it was starting up in fire every step. So I decided to change my name to something no one would be able to find me under. I wanted to talk about Real SH*t... hence the realish. Those nights of my hyperventilating crying and being scared started to not phase me anymore.
As the years went on I got stronger and things got easier. I forgave myself and others. It wasn’t only myself going through a hard time. Bringing me to today. I am no longer scared of people knowing me for who I am. No one can silence me because my feelings are valid and my voice will be heard. I also learnt a lot on how to voice my opinion. I wasn’t perfect.
I know there are others who have felt like they couldn’t speak up. Felt ashamed. Alone. Scared. Broken. Feel the emotions but don’t stay there. We have to acknowledge how we feel. What made us feel that way. And how to handle ourselves so we can deal with it better next time.
I’m releasing my old self. I am who I am.
Thankful for my friend who simply just told me how much they loved my name and to drop it. It was a little push I needed.
The past is the past. 💖💫